


(unwanted) lifestyles of the rich and famous

by witheringbloom



Category: Dreaming of Sunshine - SilverQueen, Naruto
Genre: Crack, Drabble, Gen, Give Shikako an S-Rank ninja and she'll just blow them up, Give her a fangirl and she's completely out of her depth, Princess Fuin movies strikes again, Sasuke thinks this is HILARIOUS, Silver Queen's Dreaming of Sunshine Universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-13 12:27:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28653492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/witheringbloom/pseuds/witheringbloom
Summary: Shikako is starting to prefer the mission complications that just want her dead. The rest of her team sincerely disagree.
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi & Nara Shikako, Nara Shikako & Sai, Nara Shikako & Uchiha Sasuke
Comments: 20
Kudos: 403
Collections: Heliocentrism — a Dreaming of Sunshine recursive collection





	(unwanted) lifestyles of the rich and famous

**Author's Note:**

> So I've been lurking for ages but after re-binging everything on the Heliocentrism collection, my brain kept me up at 3AM with this really random idea. Nothing like making my first contribution to the fandom with some crack-ish idea, right? 
> 
> Sorry it's so random, and so rough - I'm going to back to lurking now, bye!

It was a glorified S-rank Tsunade-sama insisted they take - carefully vetted, she had said with that gleam in her eyes and a very pointed look at them, because _someone_ needed to not wind up in a hospital bed for once after a C-rank gone fubar in the way only their missions seemed to go. Lucky Sevens privilege.

Shikako had looked at Kakashi-sensei, who looked back at her, eye smile firmly in place - neither of them claimed responsibility for all that Sasuke was side-eyeing both of them. Sai smiled blandly from her right even as he inched a little bit closer to guard her side, which was sweet but unnecessary and worked against her in this silent argument. _Tch_. Oh no, she was picking up Uchiha-isms.

So. Here they were.

An S-rank that was more of an extravagantly paid vacation than a mission, really. Escorting and guarding the Fire Daimyo’s wife and young daughter from their residence in the capital to their villa in an area where Madame Shijimi’s family also owned private hot springs. Madame Shijimi went on these trips often, and Tsunade-sama was well-known for using these to force workaholic ninja to take it easy for a while. Guard duty was simple and routine, boring even.

So simple. What could go wrong?

Shikako tries not to wince at the high-pitched squeal of excitement, carefully pasting a client-friendly smile on her face. The last thing she wanted was Tsunade-sama taking her to task for losing them a high-paying client on such a simple mission because of her attitude. The eight year old daughter of the Fire Daimyo tugged at Shikako’s hand eagerly, stars in her eyes, and Shikako follows woodenly.

Behind her, Sasuke snickers quietly into his hand and nothing says “you’re doomed” like _Sasuke_ breaking his usual stoic mask on missions to laugh at you.

“And this is the room where I keep my collection!” Shiori-hime pushes the doors open and swings her arms out wide, showing off the contents proudly.

Scratch that last thought, the last thing Shikako wanted was to deal with _this_.

“And this part of my collection is my _favourite,_ Shikako-nee-sama!” the eight-year-old chirps, skipping back over to attach herself to Shikako’s left thigh with unadultered glee.

‘This part of my collection’ might as well be half of the room, and Shikako stares at posters and figurines of herself in various poses with muted horror. There are even mannequins wearing careful replicas of both her mission gear and the kimono Yuki-hime had lent her for the coronation ceremony book ending what could only be described as a shrine dedicated to Shikako's character. 

She doesn’t remember authorizing Director Makino and his team to release _merchandise_ of her. But the fact that there _could_ be merchandise of her has not, in fact, crossed her mind until now. She would have lived happily never having that thought cross her mind for the rest of her life, in fact.

Eight-year-old Shiori-hime is an unrepentant “Shikako-sama” fangirl and Shikako thinks she might just die of mortification.

As Shiori-hime prances around the room plastered with posters from the Princess Fuin movies, cheerfully pointing out everything with the enthusiasm of ten thousand suns, even Kakashi-sensei’s chakra starts to ripple with amusement. Sai peers around curiously and Sasuke is just about shaking with repressed laughter now. Shikako wonders if it’s too late or too unprofessional to just sink into her shadows; falling into the black might even be preferable to this. Heck, maybe she can modify the seal and then hide _herself_ in Hammerspace.

“Huh,” Sai picks up one such figurine as if to admire it, “the workmanship on this is quite nice.”

“It’s a limited edition figure from their Hina Matsuri Collection! They only made five of each so I begged father to get them for me, but I heard some fans started lining up two days in advance. Onii-san, you have a good eye!”

“Maybe we should send one to Naruto with our next letter,” Sasuke suggests, dodging the elbow Shikako aims at his gut smoothly, “I’m sure he’ll appreciate it. He hates being left out of these things.”

“Maa, maa, that’s not a bad idea,” Kakashi-sensei joins in on the teasing.

“If there are figurines of me, then there are ones of you two,” Shikako reminds them both, “Guess we’ll have to send a team set.”

“Oh, yes! I have some here!” Shiori-hime announces, almost vibrating in place with shining eyes, planning out how to live out her fangirl dreams and Shikako winces, “Oh, we’re going to have _so much fun_ together this trip, Shikako-nee-sama! I’m so glad that you’re here!!”

“Ah,” Shikako gingerly pats the girl on her head, looking around to her team for help and getting nothing at all, the traitors, “I’ll be sure to fulfill my duty as a kunoichi of Konohagakure and keep you and your mother safe, Shiori-hime.”

“So cool!!!!”

_Three. Whole. Weeks._

Sasuke looks as gleeful as she’s ever seen an Uchiha not in the throes of the pyromancy look, the asshole, delighting in her discomfort. Just for that, Shikako resolves to keep any eye out for any missions around the area of Nadeshiko no Sato that they can take. Then they’ll see whose laughing in the end.

**Author's Note:**

> Unbeknownst to Shikako, Kakashi sneakily used the sharingan to preserve this image for himself like the awkwardly doting teacher he is. 
> 
> Sai's also considering the merits of dedicating a shrine to his Shikako-senpai and whether he can get away with it under Danzo's eye. He may or may not actually accidentally-on-purpose become the first real worshipper of Shikabane-hime.


End file.
